I have been on a personal journey, in the last year and a half. I have made MAJOR changes in my life. I needed these changes to be true to myself. I could no longer look myself in the eye without being very disappointed at the Woman looking back at me. I wasn’t being true to myself. I was going through the motions of life, but not embracing it. I was more concerned with how things looked to others and not with how it felt to me. I was sacrificing my own happiness for people that really didn’t count. I was afraid to disappoint people who barely knew me and consequently I wasn’t truly being honest with myself. And I wasn’t HAPPY. I was pretending to be, so that others would look up to me, but inside I was dying. I was living a lie to perpetuate a “everything is perfect” stereotype. And everything was NOT perfect. So I decided it was time to stop pretending and start living. It was time to be less concerned with what others thought, and more concerned with what felt right. I needed to be a good example for my children. To teach them that at the end of the day, you only have to really answer to yourself. And I can’t lie, it has been terrifying, gratifying, humiliating, eye opening, empowering, and exhausting! But everyday it gets easier… and at the end of the day, when I look at myself in the mirror, I am so proud of the Woman looking back at me. She is smart, strong, brave and above all, she is HAPPY! She is a good example for the two people she loves more than anything in the world. And to be honest, that is all that really matters. Life is too short to just go through the motions. At the end of the day, you need to make sure that you are being true to yourself.
So, this is 46! This Woman has learned so much about herself. She won’t sacrifice her happiness to appease others. She knows that she can count on herself because she is capable of accomplishing anything she sets her mind to. She isn’t afraid to have mud and insults thrown at her because the people doing those things, don’t matter to her. And she isn’t afraid to be alone. Because being alone and being lonely are not the same thing. She knows what is important in life and that relying on yourself is so freaking empowering. And she knows that setting a good example for her children is way more important than looking good to people that don’t matter in her life. She won’t ever go back to sacrificing her happiness to make sure she looks a certain way to the world… because she doesn’t care what the world thinks, anymore. She only has to make sure the Woman staring at her in the mirror is proud of her. And I can assure you, that Woman has never been more impressed in her life.
