When I was little we used to joke my Mom for not being like one of the local neighborhood Mom’s. We would say “Edie’s mom makes pancakes for breakfast,” or “Edie’s Mom has time to pack lunch for Edie!” It became a slogan in our house for anytime my Mom didn’t have time to do the “extras.”
Edie’s mom was Super Mom!
My Mother took this with a grain of salt, but I imagine it stung some.
As a single Mom, that put herself through nursing school, (she has a doctorate in Nursing now…just to brag,) my Mom was just not able to do all the “extra” things that Edie’s Mom (who stayed home) was. This didn’t mean she didn’t go above and beyond. On the contrary, she DID! But pancakes on a school day was just unheard of.
When I started having kids, I really wanted to be an Edie’s mom. And for many years, I was! We always had food in the house to make perfectly balanced lunches. I cooked full buffets of breakfasts for the first day of school. We were perfectly early to every event with everything we would need, in tow. My house was relatively clean and organized. I made it to all the after school events and I always had papers signed, laundry clean and was ready for anything my kids threw at me.
If I am being truly honest, I couldn’t quite understand the Mom’s that couldn’t get it all done. I mean it just takes proper planning and a little extra time. I didn’t understand how they couldn’t be on time to events?! Why were the kids eating fast food, when you can make a perfectly good lunch at home with a little foresight. Was it so hard to do everything?
And then I got divorced. And I picked up a second full time job to make ends meet, and those pancakes went right out the window.
For awhile, I tried to keep up the ruse that I could still do it all, but I was kidding myself. I don’t have time to make pancakes, shoot, I barely have time to finish using the bathroom. Those perfectly packed lunches, they no longer exist. In fact, sometimes we eat cereal or popcorn for dinner! Getting places on time has become a thing of the past, and instead I have to ask for help to make sure my Son can get picked up on some days because I won’t be off in time.
I am no longer Edie’s Mom. I am MY Mom. And you know what, I am not ONE BIT sad about it!
I have given up the “need to be perfect” standard that I had set for myself. I accept my failures as a Mom. I don’t have time to make signs for the first day of school, chronicling my children’s grade and teacher. I can’t cultivate an instagram story that follows my day. I don’t have time to make breakfast, and my house isn’t always clean. My car looks like a bomb went off and we don’t always show up first to events. In fact, sometimes we don’t show up at all. I sometimes can only manage coffee for breakfast and I took my Son to get his sports physical, after school sports had already started. Do you know why? Because I forgot! But you know what? I forgive myself!
I may no longer be Edie’s Mom, but I am exponentially happier. My kids aren’t failing, they aren’t dirty, they are fed and they have learned valuable life skills on how to fend for themselves a bit.
Some days I skip the gym, I eat crappy food and I haven’t watched a TV show in months. I don’t wish people Happy Birthday on Facebook. I don’t even have time to move my kid back to college or watch them compete in their sports.
It is the death of Super Mom.
I tried to hold on to her as long as I could. But now I have decided to let myself off the hook and just do the best I can every day. And you know what…it is seriously so FREEING! I say “no” to things I would have piled on myself before. I don’t feel bad when we eat popcorn for dinner. I don’t care that we are late to functions and that my hair is probably a mess. Because I was chasing an impossible dream and pretending everything was perfect. I didn’t want to admit it wasn’t, so I just kept trying and trying. And now, I don’t have to! I am HAPPY! Life may be different for me and the kids, but the relief I feel everyday is worth all the struggles.
So I bid farewell to my Super Mom. She was a part of my life that no longer exists. I don’t miss her and her struggles. She was a lot to deal with. I like this new Mom. She makes more mistakes, but she is also more relaxed and she absolutely enjoys the HELL out of life!
Farewell Super Mom! The only thing that will be missed is your pancakes!
XOXO
